Let me be up front with you this post will contain swearing!
There is also a picture- it’s not pretty but I needed to post it so you could see what I looked like.
Yes I know I am not a size 2,8, or 10. I am now a size 14. I was an 18 but I’ve lost almost 20lbs now since February. Which I am proud of.
Well tonight while running into the grocery store (Embrun Independant to be exact) to pick up a few things for dinner. I was told by the clerk that I was having a girl. As I said pardon as I didn’t think I heard her corectly. She said to me “well you are defiantly having a girl as you are very round” as she was drawing a fucking circle around her body with her arms”. Are you kidding me????? When I politely said um no I’m not she said “yes you are just you wait and see”. Finally with tears in my eyes I told her I wasn’t pregnant and guess what she laughed! Maybe out of embarrassment I don’t know and I honestly don’t care. How can someone be so damn stupid. Unless you see a baby coming out of a persons Vagina keep your mouth shut
With her comment she –
- immediately took me take to being a child and being made fun of and called fat
- made me very aware that because of my Crohn’s disease that I’ve always had a belly
- reminded me that I had a hysterectomy in February so I can not ever have that other baby and that it’s hard for me to work my stomach
- slid me back down the ladder on self esteem
I try really hard not to use the word hate so I’ll say I really dislike this woman right now. This woman was not a teenage or young wowan. She was in her late forties maybe 50. Old enough to know better. Yes she finally apologized but still it should have never been said in the first place.
To make matters worse I called the store manager when I got home told him what happened and his response- “well I’ll need to look in to it to see what happened and what the circumstances were”. Really????? Yes Mr. Manager I was standing paying for my order and asking the clerk to tell me I was pregnant and having a girl!
Seeing as I’m a really big advocate for shopping locally The Foodland in Russell now will get all my business.
So spill it have you ever been asked if you where pregnant or asked someone that wasn’t.
CL
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Kat - I haven’t been asked or ever asked anyone that question. I would NEVER ask unless the baby was popping out. What a dolt she is.
Jill - You are beautiful and DO NOT LOOK PREGNANT! People must be getting more ridiculous as another friend of mine had the same thing happen to her last week. Don’t let the stupid bitch get to you. You look amazing!!
AlwaysARedhead - The manager should have apologized immediately for his staff and said that he would speak to not only her but everyone else there so this would not happen again. Btw, you look perfectly fine and not pregnant!
Pattie Brynn Hultquist - I’m astonished. Truly, that someone (especially a woman!) would even consider asking unless the one she was asking was buying stocks in newborn diapers (o.O) I’m the same size as you, and previously a size 10. Y’know. Before having five kids (a twin pregnancy at the end of it all). Before the meds for the Lupus made my abdomen swell (well, everything but my tongue, really).
I take solace in knowing that real women are intelligent and kind. I bet the manager really has to check to see if her “alien” card was renewed or not. 😉 Hang tough…I think you’re beautiful. Better yet, you encompass running a business AND a family. THAT, my friend, is a WOMAN.
CL - Thank you for the support ladies. You have no idea what it means to me right now. It’s also killing me that this is bothering me so much.
Tarasview - oh honey, I am so sorry!
You actually handled that way better than I did in the same situation- I just lied. I bit my cheek – hard- and nodded my head and responded with whatever I thought the idiot stranger wanted to hear and got out of there as fast as I could. And then cried. A lot.
It is humiliating and horrifying and traumatic.
I have definitely never asked anyone because I am not a complete idiot! I seriously don’t ask – I wait for them to tell me they are pregnant.
You are beautiful and don’t you let some tactless idiot’s comments make you feel less than you are! We don’t have to be a size 2 to be beautiful my friend.
xox
mumby - that is outrageous. I am sorry. I haven’t been asked, but I think that is just dumb luck. I can not believe it. I don’t know what I would do.. but I bet “jerkstore” responses have been running thru your head!! soooo hard.
Having seen you recently, I don’t know where this is coming from. ugh.. and yes, a terrible response from the manager…
Marisa Taylor - I used to get asked and TOLD all the time that I was pregnant, this was during a time when I was 400+ lbs. Even when I lost the weight, people still assumed I was pregnant.
I finally did have my daughter, and just the other day, a little toddler ran up to me and said “look mommy, she has baby belly”. my daughter is 10 months old now…
Sarah Crawford - I’ve totally been there!
I think that is indeed one of the most ignorant things a person could ever ask.
I cried my eyes out *after* I laughed it off like it was an obvious mistake. My condition was hypothyroidism. Gained 50 pounds in a year and my neighbor had the nerve to ask “when are you due?” … Just thinking about it and my blood boils.
Keep your chin up, all we have is today.
Julie Cole - I work so many baby shows and a woman can be 100% pregnant looking and I NEVER ask. I always just ask if she has little ones at home. CL – look at the bright side of this….you are so young looking you look like you could just be starting a family! Your kids are teenagers!
Jessica - Ugh someone at my old job asked me that, complete with putting her hand on my stomach!!! I had just lost 20 pounds and was down to a size 6 but my boobs had not shrunk so they were bigger and holding my dress out. But still. How rude! And to TOUCH someone??? People need sense. I’m so sorry that happened to you. For the record I don’t think you look pregnant at all.
Cheryl - CL – I think that you look great! You’ve lost 20 pounds – that is a LOT … congratulations. This woman is obviously crude and not bright. Don’t let it get you down – you have gone through so much and you can be very proud of all of your accomplishments despite so many health setbacks. Hang in… tomorrow will be better…. everything always looks better in the morning.Hugs.
Cathy Hoehn - Hey CL, You are beautiful, You are smart, You are courageous and YOU KNOW IT, Girl! Insensitive clerk and manager, but considering the source, not surprising…. I was often made to feel like an inferior being when I shopped there because I didn’t speak French. They lack the most important part of running a business at that store…. customer service which includes treating people politely and respectfully. I’m sorry that this has you so down… but by going through this and sharing it with all of us, it’s a learning/growing opportunity. Please don’t let it take any more JOY from you! <3 Cathy
Anna - OH CL!!! I had this happen just recently as a matter of fact!!! Since, as you know, I cannot get pregnant on my own, I just said, “No I am just fat and actually can’t conceive” and walked away. I still felt like crap and shared this story again today to someone who said how slim I looked!
You are gorgeous and I think you look great!!!
xoxo
Lindsay - Been there and will agree it sucks 🙁
Remember the day of the YMC Oscars party? I was congratulated at the gym on my pregnancy and I wasn’t pregnant. Sure I guess my lululemon top could have been hiding my belly but really?! I suffer from bloating but according to everyone at the party that night I looked amazing in my dress. I have also been asking when I am due while working the baby time show…. Unless you are 110% sure don’t say anything. People can suck!
Maranda - Oh CL and Anna, that makes me so sad and angry. What an awful feeling.
CL you are so beautiful and should be so proud of your weight loss! Don’t let some idiot get to you… You DO NOT look pregnant!
And Anna I just saw you the other night and you were looking stunning as always. Not only are these people rude they obviously need to get their eyes checked!
Kerry Sauriol - yeah a little kid asked me if I was pregnant a little while ago….I just said no and carried on. It was in a kids clothing store….I WAS dressed like a schlep that night and yes…I have a belly….What can I do right…..I just let it go.
I get it I get it…I need to lose weight…thanks world
That for you though was WAY too much. Holy hannah
alison - this woman is clearly a moron.
you are beautiful, smart and mega-talented and she doesn’t deserve your time, or to pack your groceries.
xoxo A.
Zeph - CL – I agree with everyone on both your beauty and talent – but wanted to comment on my memory of your first point. When I knew you in middle school you should know you were in my mind THE fashionista. It always seemed to me you were the most hip and happening. (ok, you and Dawn Miller). Wanted to share that whatever your mental pic of your early teen years were, mine were that you were a stylish babe. Oh – I’ve GOT to dig up some pics!!! xx Z
PS – also been called pregnant – six months AFTER my first was born.
Nancy Guenette - Omg! I’m horrified for you!! First I have to reassure you that you do not look pregnant!! You look great!! What a stupid woman!! I hope she had a supermodel body to be making comments like that!! You are a gorgeous talented woman! She is a cahsier at a grocery store. And NOT a nice one! Fuck her!! 😉
Autumn Lee - I have always had a little pooch and I used to get asked all.the.time how far along I was…worst time was when i was at the gym and this large woman next to me said it…pissed me off! I think people are so rude…unless you see me waddling and rubbing my bely keep your mouth shut!
Dee Brun - 2 Words…
JUNK PUNCH
xoxo
Glen Flett - I’ve been pregnant for 9 years. Unlike you, I haven’t been able to loose any. Good for you in your efforts. And F$&@ anyone that makes fun of us!
Rozzella K - Cheri, I completely know how you feel. Read on.
I had a complete hysterectomy when I was 38, and I have put on a lot of weight since then, the vast majority of which I carry in my belly. I hate the way I look. And losing weight is next to impossible with all the health challenges I have (much like you).
Around the time I had my hysterectomy, and when I was just starting to pudge out, I was shopping in a resale clothing store. The clerk told me, “We have a really great maternity section!” Of course, I told her, “I’m not pregnant,” and let’s just say it really gutted me (no pun intended).
I agree; don’t EVER assume someone is pregnant! Just. Don’t.
Hugs, hon.
Sharon - There’s nothing I can say that hasn’t already been said. Sending you hugs.
CL - I’ve discovered with this post I need a better commenting system.
Thanks you everyone for taking the time to stop by and read this post. All of your words have made a difference. I’m not going to lie her words are still effecting me but I’m trying to move past it.
Thank again everybody.
CL
xoxo
Yasmeen - CL, you should have given her directions to the nearest optometrist. She clearly needs her eyes checked because you do NOT look pregnant. You are beautiful!
Rebecca Nash - I have never asked someone (like you said unless you see the baby coming out or the person says they are pregnant you NEVER say anything! As for being asked, I’ve never been in quite that situation however my body has changed a lot since my daughter was born and I’ve been asked a few times “how far along are you?” or “You must be so excited, when are you due?” I fully admit, I am not the skinniest girl, I’m not in as good of shape as I used to be, and I’ve obviously had a child (read I have that mommy pouch belly the belly button) but I am not Pregnant!
I’m very disappointed to hear about not only your experience with the woman initially but also the manager. Be You – Strong, Beautiful, and Confident!